lemons and lemonade

So, at the end of the day Friday the Tacoma office called. Denied. I knew the competition would be stiff, but I thought I'd at least make the first cut. S'what I get for tink'n. I didn't think I'd be as disappointed as I was; made me realize things in Colorado are more shitty than I thought. With Tacoma out of the picture it looks like I'll have to buckle down again to get myself out. Getting out of this hole could be a long time coming. I would just go, but I'm stuck with the damn house, which's already lost about $10K. Sometimes I think debt is the only thing that keeps me going. At least its Colorado. I definitely have enough passtimes to escape my laughable work environment and even more sadly, hilarious social life. One of these days Ultimate season will acutally start and hopefully that'll make things better. Of course that'll force me to be social with a whole different group of folks, but I definitely need the practice. The catch-22 of addressing the things that limit you in life is that focusing on them brings you down a lot quicker than if you just let your ego run rampant with things you're good at and failed. Somehow ego seems a lot more rubber-like than confidence. I'm definitely rambling now, on to something else.

Training for the Sea Otter Classic is picking up. Went for a 2 hour ride with Eight the other day, put in about 25 miles of running this week, and did a couple leg workouts at the gym in addition to the normal pilates and yoga classes. Psycho yoga teacher was there Tues. and I was glad I skipped class to lift when I saw the faces of the other regulars when the walked out. The climbing continues; rat climbed monday and weds. we went out and I lead a hole 5.6. I would've done it in the old earth shoes, but was denied a belay until donning the proper footwear. I later tried to lead a 5.9+, but it was pretty exposed and the wind was ripping so I bagged it one bolt in. Definitely need some bigger pro if I'm ever going to get more into trad.

I'm really wishing Hillary would drop out. One of my biggest beefs with ol'gdumbya is he preached unity over division and somehow managed the exact opposite. Seems to me old Hillary is capable of exactly the same. If I wasn't leaning hard for Obama before I definitely am now! I was also forwarded a link to http://www.thestoryofstuff.com/ for a 20 min. video on the problems associated with, and propagated by, throwing all the things away we do. I think the message is good and the information provided on the website is great, but the girl in the video is WAY to full of herself. Admittedly, I haven't watched the entire movie, but there were so many random comments initially that had nothing to do with what she was trying to say that I couldn't watch it anymore. She starts off and says something like, "I've been working on this kind of stuff for 10 years so I know what I'm talking about." When someone says that kind of crap to me I reach for the closest shovel and get ready to start shoveling shit. It's liberals like her, that make being liberal so hard to justify to people living conservatively. I've lately wondered which is worse for their political group: a dumb, redneck blindly following GOP policy or a self-righteous, independent person who doesn't know when and where to open their mouth. So, these kind of things are going through my head and Eight tells me I should see this movie called "The Secret". I was warned beforehand that it might seem a little preachy, but damn, it's practically an informercial. Again, I think they were trying to present a good message, but how is somebody whose professional title is Philosopher or Visionary supposed to convince me they're anything, but looney. Generally there are only two ways someone earns my respect: I meet them or someone I respect tells me they make the grade. Joe Schmoe on the street; sorry buddy you could be the beezneez and I don't give a rats ass. I'm very bitter today it turns out. This one always wears on me though. It probably started in the military where people would demand respect or maybe on a sports team with the one arrogant guy who says, "OK this is what we're doing" without a clue in the fucking world whether it's a good decision.

Well, I had fun today. Hope you did to. I'm off to see some Russian thingy that I know nothing about. My friend called and conned me to go. At first he thought it would be a night out with this girl he likes. Then he found out her boyfriend is coming and didn't want to be a third wheel. I said, "Dude, at least she doesn't know you like her. I'll invite a girl who knows I like her, won't have me, but still wants to hang out a lot, yeah, if you think your situation's messy check mine out." (She's actually super fun, so I just have to remember that hot chicks shouldn't have less friends just because most guys can't turn off their other brain). Se la vie